Always Stay
by mama rocks
Summary: When the going is tough, those in worthwhile relationships stay. A selection of scenes where Ianto does just that.


**Disclaimer:** I own it all!

**Warning:** Male/male sex scene in one section.

TWTWTW

Ianto's mum had told him the secret to a good relationship was to 'always stay'. No matter what mistakes your partner made, if you loved them you worked together to overcome your anger or betrayal and you stayed. Only if they hurt you deliberately or carelessly should you leave, in all other circumstances, no matter the hurt, you stayed.

Ianto had lived by this in his relationship with Lisa. They had both made mistakes and hurt the other. It was a first serious commitment for each of them and they had not always found it easy to compromise.

Ianto had been angry when Lisa tried to stop him from going away with his friends for a short holiday one weekend. There had been harsh words and recriminations before he left and he had gained little enjoyment from the break, wondering what he would find on his return.

What he had found was his Lisa waiting with open arms and a sincere apology.

She had stayed.

Sometime later, when he discovered she had gone to lunch with an old boyfriend he had felt betrayed. Again there had been an argument and Ianto had tried to forbid her from seeing him. He knew they were just friends now and that he should trust Lisa but he had wanted to lay a claim. She went out with him again that night, with the sound of Ianto screaming that he would not be there when she returned.

He_ had _been there, drunk and befuddled with apology when she came home after a night that had reminded her just why the other man was an _ex _boyfriend.

Despite his anger Ianto had stayed.

He had stayed when he found Lisa half converted at Canary Wharf.

He had stayed with her in the basement of Torchwood Three when she was in pain.

He had stayed when she was unconscious from the cocktail of drugs keeping her alive.

He had stayed when she had killed the scientist he had bought to help her.

He had stayed when she had attempted to convert Gwen.

He had fought the others to stay when they set Myfanwy on her. Finally he had stayed, kneeling in her blood as he sobbed for his loss.

Ianto had thought he would never have someone to stay for again. He assumed his life would be empty of both the anguish and the joy that staying could bring.

And then he had found Jack and the staying had escalated to a whole new level.

TWTWTW

_Staying After Lisa Almost Destroyed the Hub:_

Ianto hung his head briefly before he stepped into the tourist information office for the first time since Lisa had died. When had he started to think of the incident as Lisa dying rather than being killed? The thought shocked him slightly. He would not lose his anger towards Jack he decided with determination. The man had no right to demand her execution and to order Ianto to perform it was beyond cruel.

Ianto took a deep breath and entered the building, stopping short with a flash of fear as he almost fell into Jack's arms as he pushed through the door.

'Jack?' he asked nervously.

Had the man decided to throw him out of Torchwood after all? Was he meeting Ianto at the entrance to prevent his access back into the workplace?

'Ianto' replied Jack with a hint of anger still in his tone.

'What?' asked Ianto with genuine panic now.

Jack looked at the young man and realised what he was observing was fear. He had wondered how Ianto would cope with returning to work. He was struggling to forgive the Welshman for his deception but knew he had to make the effort and that much of the blame lay with himself. He should have known the younger man was suffering. God knows he had seen the destruction of Torchwood One and should have realised nobody could come through that without scars. He had allowed himself to largely ignore Ianto except when he was asking for his help or flirting with him. He had taken no notice of the man himself. That had proven to be a mistake.

'I'm here for moral support Ianto' he explained gently.

Ianto looked at him in disbelief.

'Really?' he asked.

Jack smiled at him.

'You were right...I ignored you...took you for granted...I don't want to do that anymore' he explained.

He reached to tentatively take one of Ianto's hands in his own.

'It takes some nerve to return to the place where...' Jack trailed off 'well I thought I'd walk in with you...you're not alone Ianto' he finished.

Ianto felt the tears that he had not so far shed rise to his eyes and he blinked them away determined to show no weakness.

'Thank you' he whispered gripping Jack's hand slightly tighter as the only indication of his nervousness.

The two men made their way downstairs. Jack thought about how worried he had been that Ianto would not return. He knew he would miss the other man's quiet presence and would definitely be upset if he did not get the opportunity to rectify his past mistakes.

''I'm glad you stayed Ianto' he whispered.

TWTWTW

_Staying After Suzie Finally Died:_

Ianto felt dizzy. What the hell had he been thinking? How could he proposition his boss over his colleague's dead body? He had thought Jack lacked finesse when he was smirking his overt suggestions out to Ianto at times, but this was beyond anything his boss had ever done.

Now Jack was waiting for him in his office. What had he expected? He had made the suggestion and Jack was anticipating that he would follow through.

They had kissed many times since Lisa had died. The traumatic episode had brought the two men closer together, they had spent time together, talked, even wept together.

One night they had done more than kissing on the hub's battered old sofa. Ianto felt hot thinking about that night. They had made out like a couple of inexperienced teenagers but when Jack had invited Ianto to his underground bedroom, Ianto had made his excuses and left.

He had never been sexually attracted to a man before and whilst kissing was wonderful and groping had bought unexpected pleasure he had no desire to take things further, sex with a man was out of the question.

But since then he had thought of little else. Finally admitting to himself that he wanted the experience, he wanted Jack.

Now the moment was here. Since Ianto had ran when the captain had offered to take him to his bed, Jack had backed off. Jack had thought the younger man was not interested in taking things further and he had no desire to force the issue. Ianto had begun to realise that nothing else would happen unless he initiated it. He stood with the completed paperwork for Suzie's death in his hand, listening to his stopwatch count down the minutes until Jack expected him. He walked nervously up the stairs towards his captain.

Knocking on the door he entered to see the Jack sitting in his chair smirking at him and he almost turned and fled. He stood nervously just inside the door and shifted from foot to foot not knowing what to say.

Jack's smirk fell from his face when he noticed how unsettled Ianto appeared to be. Had he changed his mind? It wouldn't be the first time Jack had been rejected at the last moment and he had no wish to make the young man uncomfortable in what was after all his work environment.

He stood and walked over to Ianto.

'Ianto?...you can change your mind' he said softly.

Ianto looked up quickly and with relief. But as he took in Jack's expression he knew he did not want to leave. He was relieved the option was there but he no longer wished to take it. His decision was made.

'I don't want to leave Jack' he said quietly.

Jack looked at him quizzically. Ianto had left last time Jack had propositioned him and now he was obviously apprehensive. The sudden realisation hit him that this was unusual territory for Ianto. He had assumed the young man had some experience with men but perhaps that assumption was wrong.

Jack leant in and kissed him gently.

'Will you come to bed with me this time Ianto?' he asked.

Ianto tried to answer but his mouth was too dry so he merely nodded. He attempted to move away towards the underground room but Jack held him back with a hand on his arm. He moved nearer to him and kissed his neck and up towards his ear. Ianto breathed slightly more heavily as arousal spiked through him.

'Have you done much with men before Ianto?' Jack whispered.

Ianto looked at him, were they really going to have this conversation now? He didn't want to admit anything to Jack, didn't want to give him cause for pity or judgement. Talking about such things was just embarrassing, Ianto always found it hard to frame the words needed to explain himself. He merely looked away hoping Jack would get the hint that talking was not what he wanted to do.

'Ianto?' insisted Jack.

Jack was obviously _not_ going to take the hint.

'No' whispered Ianto.

'How much is not much?' asked Jack.

He didn't mean to be intrusive, he just needed to know the extent of Ianto's experience in order not to overstep the mark.

Ianto looked at him in exasperation but Jack merely looked back silently and Ianto realised he would be compelled to answer.

'Nothing at all...no men' he admitted begrudgingly.

Jack completely rethought his seduction strategy in a nanosecond after Ianto's confession. He had no problem with Ianto's inexperience but to go in all guns blazing, metaphorically speaking, would not be ideal in this case. He would need a calmer and more sensitive approach. He would also need to discover Ianto's boundaries.

'Ok' he whispered in Ianto's ear 'what do you want to do?'

Ianto looked at him in despair. If he actually had to voice his desires to Jack then nothing would happen because he would never be able to frame the words. He began to back away. Jack gripped him tightly around his arms.

'Ianto...I just want to know your boundaries...if there are things you definitely don't want to do...I have no desire to do anything you won't enjoy...once I know we can forget this conversation' he offered, sensing Ianto's reluctance to put his needs into words.

Ianto looked at him again. He understood what Jack was saying, if the situation were reversed he would do the same, ensure the other person's comfort by discovering boundaries in order not to overstep them, but he still could not bring himself to say anything. Jack read his problem on his face.

'Can I touch you?' he asked realising Ianto might find it easier to answer questions than he would to frame requests.

Ianto smiled.

'We would not get very far if I didn't allow that' he said.

Jack smiled back, at least his first question had forced Ianto to speak.

'Can I do the touching with my mouth?' he grinned.

Ianto's breath caught at the idea and he nodded agreement.

Jack continued.

'Penetration?' he asked 'with fingers? With cocks?'

Ianto felt himself redden, really was it necessary to discuss this? Could they not just see how things went. He hadn't allowed himself to think that far ahead and wasn't sure how he felt about the activities on offer.

'Do I have to decide now?' he asked trying to deflect.

'Only if the answer is a definite no' replied Jack 'we can see how things develop...we don't have to do everything today...I just want to know if there are things I should under no circumstances try'

Ianto tried to frame his reply in a way that would allow him to talk without stumbling over words.

'Nothing is a definite no...let's just see how it goes' he said softly.

Jack grinned at him.

'If anything I do is not enjoyable, tell me...otherwise let's forget this conversation and get back to having a good time'

'Thank God' breathed Ianto in relief.

They kissed again before the captain took his hand and led him to his underground room.

TWTWTW

A short time later and Ianto found himself being spoken to harshly.

'Ianto stay!' demanded Jack.

Ianto looked at him in shock and realised suddenly that his fingers were tangled in the sheets and he was pulling himself away from Jack, away from the source of the pain. He felt slightly foolish, after all the decision to do this had been his.

'Sorry' he said sheepishly.

Jack smiled at him.

'It's ok Ianto...do you want me to stop?' he asked gently.

Ianto smiled back.

'I think you are kind of half way in now Jack...I'll grit my teeth and you just shove' he announced.

'Well how terribly romantic' grinned Jack with a touch of sarcasm.

'Your cock is half way up my arse...it's painful and spectacularly weird and I have no idea why people do this...but it definitely is not for the romance of the thing' sniped Ianto.

'It does get better...you will like it I promise...just give yourself a few moments to adjust' begged Jack.

He nudged his cock inwards another inch and Ianto gasped again but this time with a different tone. They looked at each other.

'Hit the spot?' asked Jack with a grin.

'Don't get too confident Harkness...it's less painful now but it is still the strangest thing I've ever done in the bedroom' answered Ianto.

'Really?...oh I have so much to teach you!' announced Jack laughing as he moved and covered the final distance between them, resting his hips against Ianto's and looking down on him in triumph.

He lifted himself slightly to watch young man beneath him and gave a short small stroke into his body and then a slightly longer and stronger one, smiling to himself as Ianto gasped in pleasure.

Ianto's fingers enclosed his biceps.

'Jack' he breathed.

'Better?' questioned Jack.

'Fuck...move a bit more' insisted Ianto.

Jack did as he was instructed and was rewarded by Ianto's pleasure leaving his mouth in a stream of Welsh profanities. Jack watched the startled expression on Ianto's face as he unexpectedly found the joy that penetration could bring.

'Know why people do it yet?' he questioned.

But despite his obvious pleasure Ianto still had a startled and slightly fearful expression on his face and Jack was reminded that this was his first time doing something for which he had never imagined he had any desire. No matter the pleasure, it was still an experience bringing revelations and a new mindset to the young man and Jack respected his need to adjust.

He settled to trying to bring as much pleasure as possible. Grasping Ianto's cock he rubbed in time with his thrusts and within moments Ianto came with a startled 'Arrh' over Jack's fist. Watching Ianto's come smear up his stomach was all that was needed to send Jack over the edge and with a last grunt he came also.

They lay together sated and sleepy for a short while then Ianto began to stir. Jack raised his head to look at him.

'You ok?' he asked.

Ianto thought about this for a moment.

'Right now?...yes' he answered.

'And later?' encouraged Jack wondering what Ianto's ultimate reaction would be.

Ianto had no discriminatory feelings towards gay people, he had always been of the opinion that what didn't hurt anyone and made people happy was ok, but it was still not something he had ever given thought to doing himself. It was a bit of a shock to him to feel sexually attracted to Jack and even more of a shock to follow through with those desires.

'Later...' he mused 'is still up for consideration'

Jack frowned hoping that Ianto was not going to become upset when he calmly considered his actions without the force of immediate desire fuelling them. Ianto rolled over onto his side and saw the worry on his lover's face.

'But anything that felt that good cannot possibly be bad' he said 'and definitely needs repeating' he decided grinning.

'Yeah?' asked Jack grinning back at him.

'Oh yeah' agreed Ianto laughing.

'Thank you' said Jack 'thank you for letting me be the first' he smiled at his lover.

Ianto was puzzled. Surely Jack was not sentimental over virginity. Ianto had never understood why some of his friends had been concerned over whether they were the first lovers of their girlfriends. What did it matter? As long as you were the only one for the time you were together, then what had gone before was irrelevant as far as Ianto could see.

'Do you think it's important...being the first?' he asked Jack with curiosity.

'Usually?...no not really...but for a previously straight man to choose me to penetrate him...yes I think that's important' answered Jack.

'Why?' asked Ianto, still vaguely puzzled.

'Many teenagers throw away their first times in drunken parties and that's not exactly a tragedy of epic proportions...but you are not a teenager and you are not drunk... so for you to think about this act and soberly choose me to share it with...that makes me happy' explained Jack.

Ianto contemplated this for a moment. He had not imagined Jack would see their actions as something special and he was pleased that he did.

'I'm glad I stayed tonight Jack' he smiled.

TWTWTW

_Staying After Jack Killed Mary:_

'Tosh is heartbroken' announced Ianto a little savagely but with a hint of understanding in the tone.

'I know' answered Jack 'but Mary killed relentlessly over many years, she had to be stopped'

'Stopped yes...that could have happened without killing her' observed Ianto.

'I know' answered Jack again, with defeat in his voice.

Jack felt ashamed of his need for revenge. He knew he had no right to be judge and jury on aliens and their actions, it was too close to Torchwood one.

'That kind of hate only hurts the person who feels it' said Ianto quietly.

'It hurt Mary' insisted Jack attempting to justify his actions.

'No Jack...she's dead now...it's not hurting her any longer...it will hurt you for as long as you live with the guilt over the action you took' said Ianto sadly.

Jack just looked at him, knowing Ianto was right and that he would learn to regret his actions in the time to come, once his desire to be an avenging angel on behalf of those Mary had killed was gone.

'Let it go Jack' pleaded Ianto 'let go of hate...you don't need it and it's only hurting you'

'I'm not sure I know how' observed Jack 'stay and help me' he pleaded grabbing hold of Ianto's wrist, suddenly worried the Welshman would leave him to wallow alone.

'Let it go...hold me instead' said Ianto moving into his captain's arms as he decided to stay.

TWTWTW

_Staying After The real Captain Jack:_

Jack had eventually sent a reluctant Toshiko home. He knew she was still reeling from their sojourn in the 1940s and had allowed her to stay with him for a time to reassure her she was safe. She had left the hub about an hour ago and Jack had continued to drink and mope in his office, looking out over the empty space where his teammates usually sat.

He thought again about the young pilot he had left behind to fly to his death the next morning. He had so wanted to give the man a nice memory before he went and he hoped their kiss would suffice. It was a tragedy that had to happen, Jack knew that he could not change history by trying to prevent it, but that didn't stop him from grieving for the man who spent his short life hiding who he really was.

He took a deep breath and placed his glass on his table. Getting drunk would not help and Jack was no fan of being out of control in that way. He stood and decided he would try to get some sleep when he heard a sound in the hub. Nobody was here. He took out his gun wondering if the hub security had been breached and left his office stealthily.

He made his way towards the source of the noise only to breathe heavily with relief as he saw Ianto making a coffee in the kitchen. The young Welshman turned and offered him the cup.

'Finished brooding have we sir?' he asked cheekily.

Jack could not prevent the involuntary smile that spread across his features.

'I think so yes' he admitted 'Tosh told you?' he enquired.

'Of course she did...she's my friend...and she has no idea we're...I mean' Ianto stumbled.

Jack bowed his head.

'She told you I kissed him?' he said.

'Yes' admitted Ianto.

'I'm sorry' said Jack.

'We never made promises Jack' said Ianto quietly.

'No...but that doesn't mean you need...or want...to hear about other people' said Jack sadly 'I know I don't want to hear about you with other people' he continued.

'Well you won't' smiled Ianto 'it's not really my thing Jack...casual hook ups' he whispered half ashamed to make the admittance.

'Not really mine either' whispered Jack back to him.

Ianto raised an eyebrow in question.

'I kissed him...and given the opportunity I probably would have done more...the tragedy of the situation...you know...but apart from him...well I don't really do casual hook ups either...all flirting and no fuc..'

'Jack!' warned Ianto laughing.

But then Ianto looked at him.

'Really?' he asked in reference to Jack's confession.

'Really' said Jack 'I like to flirt but actually doing more requires too much effort' he smiled.

'Are you saying I'm easy Harkness?' demanded Ianto with mock effrontery.

Jack laughed with him.

'Not easy...just worth the effort' he said with earnestness in his tone.

Ianto looked at him in surprise. That was possibly the most romantic thing he had ever heard Jack say to him. Jack took him into his arms and thought about Ianto's actions in the light of his knowledge about Jack's behaviour during his sojourn in the past.

'You stayed' he said as he leant into Ianto's neck.

'Always' Ianto replied.

TWTWTW

_Staying After the year that never was:_

Jack passed a glass of whiskey to Ianto and sipped from his own. They were sitting together on the hub sofa. The others had gone straight home following a night spent in a hotel to avoid seeing themselves after time rewound when the rift opened to take John back.

It was too early in the day to be drinking but if they were going to talk they both needed to feel they were here for the long haul until it was settled. So Toshiko had patched the rift predictor to her home computer and the team had left, on the condition that they take any action needed if rift activity occurred before Jack and Ianto had finished talking.

Ianto knew they needed to begin a conversation but he could only think one word at the moment.

'Bastard!' he murmured.

'I know...I'm sorry' said Jack sadly.

'Why?' asked Ianto, he needed to know why the captain had left without a word to any of them.

'I needed to know Ianto...he was the only one who might possibly be able to fix me...I needed to know if and when I will die' said Jack equally sadly.

Ianto thought about this. It must be terrifying to live forever. People assumed immortality was a thing to be yearned for but Ianto knew better. He had seen the fear in Jack's eyes when people he loved died and he would _always _see the people he loved die. He had seen the fear that he would still be here when all of life was extinguished in the universe. The absolute terror was something that Ianto could not bear to think of for too long and Jack had to live with it daily.

'What did you learn?' he asked more gently now.

'Nothing' replied Jack bitterly 'he can't fix it...sometimes I think the horror of it will drive me mad' he whispered.

Ianto nodded in acknowledgment of the nightmare that was Jack's existence. But Ianto was only human. If the Doctor had told Jack he couldn't be fixed why had the man not come home sooner?

'Why were you gone so long?' he asked accusingly.

Jack looked at Ianto and knew the other man thought he had been betrayed. Nothing could be further from the truth but Jack was not sure he could relive the last year by telling it to his lover.

'I would have been home sooner if it had been possible...I missed you so much' he said quietly.

Ianto looked at him and wondered if he should believe what seemed to be genuine sentiments.

'I had a terrible time Ianto' whispered Jack and a sob caught in his throat.

Ianto looked at him again and his own tears formed as he realised the pain in the other man's stance and the new dark spaces behind his eyes. He made his decision to put aside his own doubts and upsets and pulled the captain into a warm embrace.

'You're home now' he whispered gently.

'I should have stayed with you' sobbed Jack brokenly.

'You can stay now' assured Ianto and tightened his hold as Jack let go of all his fears and sobbed in Ianto's arms.

TWTWTW

_Staying For friends as well as lovers:_

It had been a fraught day. Owen had sniped at everyone but Ianto had borne the brunt of almost all his bad temper. He had been called names, ridiculed for his taste in clothes and had his relationship with Jack dissected and scorned. Ianto had no idea what had made the medic so intensely miserable today but the insults had upset him more than he cared to admit.

He had gone home and tried to sleep away the hurt, tried to let it go and hope tomorrow would be an improvement.

Now he struggled against the sleep that wanted to reclaim him and wandered downstairs to answer the imperious knocking at his door. He pulled it open to be confronted by Owen's pale face gazing at him warily. They watched each other silently for several long moments and then Ianto stepped aside and allowed the other man to enter his home.

Neither man had spoken when they reached Ianto's lounge and Owen stood looking at his sofa. Ianto rolled his eyes and fetched two bottles of water from the kitchen before returning and indicating to the other man to sit.

Ianto silently studied the doctor and waited for him to begin talking. This was his home and Owen had invaded it at a ridiculously early hour of the morning, so he had no intention of helping him by initiating a conversation.

They had become close in some ways whilst Jack had been away. Their differences were put aside in order for the team to work effectively in the absence of a leader and eventually this had led to an 'almost' friendship emerging. They had shared secrets and sorrows and got drunk together more times than Ianto cared to remember.

Ianto knew that whatever had bought Owen to his door tonight the man needed comfort and someone to listen.

'It's Katie's birthday' announced Owen.

Oh, thought Ianto, I see, and he waited for further enlightenment.

'I went out tonight...tried to lose the memories in another woman's arms' said Owen 'didn't work' he finished with a rueful grimace.

Ianto opened his water and gulped some down before retuning his gaze to the older man. How should he comfort him? Owen did not take well to sympathy despite the fact that he had come here looking for just that.

Ianto noticed the tears forming in the other man's eyes and despaired of how to help his sometime friend. As the first errant tear brimmed over and fell from Owen's eye Ianto left his seat and threw himself next to Owen on the sofa and pulled the other man into his arms. Owen went rigid at the contact and then instantly deflated and collapsed into the embrace and gave himself over to his grief.

After several long minutes of sobbing with abandon, Owen began to quiet and Ianto sensed now that the wave of grief was passing the older man was becoming seriously embarrassed by his display of weakness. Owen had spoken to him about Katie before and he generally became morose and even more uncommunicative than usual afterwards, annoyed with himself for breaking down and admitting his sorrows. Ianto made a sudden decision and swept Owen up into his bedroom, dragging him by his arms.

'What are you doing Ianto? I hope you didn't bring me here to admire the sight of Harkness in your bed' Owen said savagely.

'You need to sleep Owen and you need to do it here where your friends can look after you' said Ianto sagely.

Owen looked at him in exasperation. Did the Welshman seriously suppose he was going to sleep with him and the captain? Although the catharsis of weeping, along with the excess of alcohol had left him bone tired and the bed did look inviting. He angrily brushed Ianto's hands away from his clothes, but then sighed and finished the undressing himself.

'I'm not sleeping in the middle' he announced.

'Wouldn't dream of it' smiled Ianto climbing into bed next to Jack and holding the covers up for Owen. Owen clambered in and settled with his back to Ianto allowing the younger man to drape a comforting arm across him.

Jack stirred and his hand reached past Ianto.

'Who is this?' he asked without opening his eyes.

Ianto laughed, only Jack could react in such a way to a third person appearing in bed. He didn't shoot upright demanding the usurper be removed, just lazily asked for a name.

'It's me' snapped Owen 'and keep your hands to yourself'

'Owen?' Jack assimilated this information 'Aren't you worried for your virtue being in bed with me?' he asked with a smile in his tone.

'I can't see you climbing over teaboy to get to me' sniffed Owen 'I think I'm safe as long as something more appealing stays between us'

Jack laughed under his breath and acknowledged to himself the truth of Owen's observation. He hugged Ianto closer.

'Why is he here?' he asked his lover.

'He's hurting Jack and he needs his friends' answered Ianto.

Jack stilled for a moment, thinking about this.

'After all he did and said to you today...I know you were upset...you're still letting him stay?' he puzzled.

'He's my friend and he needs my comfort...yes I'm letting him stay' said Ianto decidedly.

TWTWTW

_Staying After Owen's death and resurrection:_

Jack really needed someone to understand.

Gwen was shocked and Toshiko was weighed down under such extreme sorrow that she could hardly respond to anything. Owen did not yet appreciate fully what had happened to him, what he would never have again. Jack knew the horrors of living forever, but at least he had the joy of physical pleasures, Owen would not even have these to dull the ache of losing people. He would never again enjoy a good night's sleep or a cup of hot tea on waking, never again experience the delight of a good dinner or slow lazy sex with someone he loves.

Jack had deprived him of these and condemned him to an eternity of wishing. He needed Ianto to understand why he had done it. That he hadn't known what would happen, that he had just wanted to say goodbye, that he hadn't been ready to let go of yet another friend.

But Ianto had already fully grasped what this meant for Owen and was beyond angry with Jack. He had seen Gwen's shock and Toshiko's sorrow and had judged Jack's selfishness.

The girls had left and Owen had taken himself off to lick his wounds in private and Jack did not know where Ianto had gone. Had he left the hub also? He always stayed. Had Jack pushed him too far this time?

Ianto was in the archives pacing endlessly as he thought about the latest dramatic situation. He strode through the corridors, simply turning and pacing back again whenever he met a wall, his thoughts matching his restless steps.

After half an hour of frantic energy pumping Ianto was beginning to calm. He had processed what had happened and considered all the consequences.

Gwen would quickly recover from the shock but Toshiko would have a new sadness that would never fully leave her. Owen would take time to assimilate new meaning into his life. Ianto knew the man would struggle with this but he also had faith that eventually Owen's brilliant mind would find problems to solve and research to conduct that would keep him occupied. Although the painful ripping away of all physical pleasure would be something for which he would never truly forgive his boss, it would be yet another grievance that he tucked away to bring out and slap into people's faces periodically, when he was feeling sorry for himself.

All these things would happen because there was no way to go back. They could not rectify what had occurred and so eventually, no matter the tragedy, people learn to accept. Ianto worried now about Jack. He knew his lover would punish himself, possibly forever, for his choices. And for Jack, forever was literal. He would worry about how the team would react towards him as they tried to cope with Owen's loss and he would watch forever a man whose life he had ruined. Ianto knew he would also be worried about his lover's reaction to what had happened.

Ianto could do little to help any of his colleagues, but the little he could do he would. He would help Gwen to remember the good in her own life and not to dwell on things she could not change. He would spend time with Toshiko and remind her how to enjoy life and friendships. He would challenge Owen to stop moping and find ways to cope. He would need to comfort Jack for mistakes he could not rectify, not allow him to wallow in self pity at the expense of the safety of Cardiff and possibly the world. Remind him of his duties and of the pleasure that he was still entitled to, despite his very human failings.

His anger had waned now to be replaced by weary resignation and a determination to alleviate the only suffering he could at the moment, Jack's. He traipsed back up to the main hub to search for his lover.

He discovered Jack just standing in the middle of the hub staring into space and into all his own mistakes of the past and all the possible mistakes he would make in the future. The two men stood and contemplated each other from across the floor. Jack's mouth opened in what Ianto knew was surprise to see him still there.

Ianto could see the other man was expecting rejection. Was expecting Ianto to turn and leave. They watched each other for what seemed an interminable length of time until Ianto made his decision and strode across the floor towards his lover and swept him into a deep embrace. Jack stilled for a shocked moment and then practically collapsed into the forgiveness that Ianto was offering. He allowed the tears to flow as he grasped on to the younger man for comfort and acceptance.

Ianto had made his decision.

He had stayed.

TWTWTW

_Being Asked To Stay:_

Jack knew, and Ianto knew that Jack knew. Jack had never specified that the rest of the team should not be told about Flat Holm, it was just an unspoken order. Ianto and Jack had words when Gwen first started to investigate the disappearance of Jonah Bevin. Jack had quickly ended the argument by pointing out that nothing could be done that wasn't already being done, so stirring hope that could never be fulfilled for the relatives left behind was pointless and possibly cruel.

However Ianto wasn't concerned with relatives but rather with the team and what they should be told. He should have known better than to tell Gwen anything. He should have known better than to hope she would see the facility and accept, without involving relatives.

It had become a fiasco and a painful one for Jonah's mother and Ianto deeply regretted his actions that had ultimately allowed her to see her son. Everything was over now and he assumed Jack was angry with him. The older man came out of his office and shouted down to the subdued team to go home. He looked at Ianto.

'Not you Ianto. I want to speak to you before you leave' he said in an even tone and Ianto's heart sank.

The rest of the team slunk away with Gwen pressing Ianto's arm in sympathy as she passed him. He gave her a small half smile and turned to meet his captain's wrath.

'You shouldn't have told her Ianto' said Jack as the man entered his office.

Ianto hung his head knowing the captain was correct.

'I know...I'm sorry' he admitted.

Jack looked at him, considering him for a long moment. He had never ordered Ianto to keep Flat Holm secret but knew the younger man understood his wishes on the topic. He had shared the knowledge of the facility with Ianto thinking he could trust him with the information. However he also acknowledged that to some extent Ianto was right. The rest of the team did deserve to know about this. If Gwen had known she might have had time to come to terms with it and realise sharing the information with relatives would produce nothing but grief.

Jack came over to stand above Ianto and the other man barely flinched, Jack could be an intimidating presence when he wanted to be. Ianto braced himself for the forthcoming recriminations and possibly for the punishments. He envisaged days and maybe weeks of cleaning out the Weevil cells.

He could feel Jack breathing down his neck and tensed slightly before the older man spoke gently.

'Stay with me tonight?'

Ianto looked quickly up at him. This was not what he had expected at all and he gazed at the captain questioningly.

'Please' added Jack in a soft whisper.

Ianto's fear of recrimination left him swiftly and he just nodded at Jack and followed him to his underground room.

Jack had asked him to stay and Ianto had chosen to do so.

TWTWTW

_Ianto is not the only one who stay:_

Ianto was laying in a bath of rapidly cooling water. He wanted to weep with frustration. He and Jack had argued bitterly just an hour ago and Ianto had stormed away from the dinner table towards his bathroom and locked himself in. He assumed Jack had taken himself back to the hub and the prospect of an awkward meeting in the morning was not helping Ianto to regain his equilibrium.

It had all started over dinner. They had a tiring day chasing stupid crank calls about possible alien sightings and apparently pointless tech retrievals from distant locations. The whole team had been tetchy with each other and unusually Ianto had allowed Owen's constant snipes to rile him.

Ianto had bashed around his kitchen and made pasta for himself and Jack, who had just assumed he would be welcome in Ianto's home. He _was_ welcome, but his assumption had not helped Ianto's mood.

Jack had tried to lighten the atmosphere over dinner by relating some of his more outrageous stories about his times on alien planets and more obviously about his times engaging in dubious activities with the aliens themselves. Ianto had become more annoyed. Jack was in his home, eating his food and probably expecting to share his bed and his body later that night and yet he did not have the decency not to talk about past lovers whilst they ate.

Ianto knew he was being unfair. Such topics did not normally bother him at all. What Jack had done before he met him was irrelevant to their relationship now and Ianto was usually amused by his captain's past antics, but tonight he was not in the mood to hear it.

'_Why can't you just be normal for once?' he whispered bitterly._

_Jack stopped his story, shocked at the tone and hurt by the implication that he was not normal._

'_What?' he asked._

'_Just for once why can you not shut up about what and who you've done and just be normal' said Ianto more loudly._

'_So you think I'm abnormal...wrong?' asked Jack beginning to get very angry, he had been called 'wrong' before and it was not an epithet he appreciated._

_Ianto was annoyed with himself for his outburst but now could not prevent himself from continuing the argument._

'_No I don't think you're abnormal' he said apologetically 'I just want to forget everything Torchwood and be an average couple for once...you know...dinner, talk, wash up, watch TV' he finished with a sigh._

_Jack recognised the apologetic tone but was now upset enough not to just let it go._

'_We're not an average couple...not even sure we're a couple' he snapped._

_Ianto stood abruptly, needing to leave the presence of the other man before he truly said something he couldn't take back._

'_Just fuck off then Jack' he threw over his shoulder as he stormed off to his bathroom._

So now he was sitting in an almost cold bath feeling sorry for himself. He took himself out of the water and dried quickly to prevent becoming too cold. Finding some clean clothes in the bedroom he resigned himself to apologies in the morning at the hub and to taking himself downstairs now to clear up what was left of dinner.

Reaching the kitchen he stopped in amazement as the smell of brewing coffee assailed his nostrils and at the sight of Jack putting away the last of the plates he had washed. Jack turned as he heard Ianto approach.

'We had dinner...the talking didn't go too well..but I've done the washing up and I thought coffee whilst watching TV' said Jack quietly.

Ianto let out a breath of air that he didn't realise he was holding.

'I thought you had left' he said.

'No' replied Jack.

'Why?' asked Ianto.

'Why did I not leave?...it was an argument Ianto...all couples have them' said Jack.

Ianto smiled at his use of the term 'couple' and knew Jack was asking for forgiveness.

'I'm sorry' Ianto said.

'Me too'

Jack handed him a cup of coffee and they settled to watch an hour of TV before going to bed. With his arm draped around Ianto's shoulder and the pair of them sleepy and content, Jack bent to Ianto's ear and whispered.

'I'm glad I stayed'

END.


End file.
